Q: Did adam and eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they dad an apple.

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.

Knock, Knock,
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!

Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed "guess who"?
A: A divorce lawyer.

Q: What is the perfect breakup gift to give to someone for valentines day?
A: A copy of the book sex for dummies.

Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!

Q: Did you hear about the guy who went on The Dating Game?
A: He chose himself - and scored!

A date is a job interview that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is that there are not many job interviews where there's a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.
Jerry Seinfeld

What do I think of computer dating? It's terrific if you're a computer.
Rita Mae Brown